Tout à coup, it would happen

Yeah, what if it would happen??
Oh and OH-MY-GOD... I hold such a grudge! I keep on planning little revenges to K and S... hmm... I'm real angry at S, well not angry.. just grudgy....lol it's unbelievable what kills me here it's that nobody cares about me, wait... K did looked at me a couple of times yesterday.. LOOK at what I am doing here... ARGG I can't believe myself... I need to get them out of my mind! It's really not good for my Karma... lol I spend days (ok exagerating here) thinking how K could break up with S and then he would go with me... trying to think about things to do (or to say) to make myself more interesting... though it is very unlikely since K doesn't talk to me anymore... guess he 'feels' what I think.... I must 'degager' a bad vibe now... again not good for Karma... anyway, I am used to being alone. and I appreciate it more that way... I have no strings attached and I feel good about it.... though... from time to time I do daydream about THE perfect boyfriend... where he is? I could take any guy for now... just to show that I able to... ohhh wrong reasons... the more for my karma not to send me any soul mates... I must wait for England... then... really hope that THIS will be the place where I'll find somone!...a guy... please LOL..... then... guess there is a lot of people for the moment who thinks I am gay... hmmm not stressing on this though... there's nothing wrong about it.. I am just not....OK I am not suppose to do this... should work on my Nomenclature's work... hmmm yeah should be doing it right this moment but look at me I'm writing like crazy... on the spur... always the better entries... so... TouT à coup... ('concours' on the net called this way) And also there is some hope 'tone' to it! Maybe ...*sighs* I have been for the past 5 years alone, (and really B wasn't what I and we can call a boyfriend... does holding hands and one french kiss can immediately be called dating? I guess not...) Oh well nice experimentation...hmmm but then the fact that I have been alone, and still is and so for the next week (and probably more... but then we truly never know... Tout à coup?!?!!)
another thing.... I started to do my gifts for X-mas... started with my Middle sister, can't say it there though... we never know, she could come about it and see what I am giving her... Is it wrong from my part to give to Fédé and not to Amélie.... hmmmm she will be there for Xmas... so....ARG... she probably won't give anythying to me so... HAHAHAH ANOTHER grudge!!! Ohh but then I could give something.. (though I have no idea what) and if would feel awful not to give anything back... I am so growing up as an old, lonely, bitter aunt... ohhhh... I don't like the thought! * eyes rolling* wow... *crosses fingers* well I do hope THAT won't happen... Always going back at this...being alone... ok well one step to not become the bitter aunt, let's give something to Amé....
OK welll need to focus on my Nomenclature TP now... and checking (again) some articles for Prehistory.. changing my subject... which makes me think to send an email to James..
alright now bye bye for now...