Try waiting it up ( thoughts to ... )

Yep still singles!! Not that I had anything planned to be hooked up... but could have happened... got a little Riddick's phase... and I think I am still not through... how hot is Vin diesel... hmmm dreamy!
so... hadn't any idea of this entry until... here... my friend called me... she's pregnant...
and I am the one who wants to cry... I guess this is it... my childhood is finally up to pieces... got one hard hit on new year's eve... where both my sister and a friend (which later turned out another friend also) announced that they were all getting engaged...but now that pregnancy... that is supposebly secret... is getting to me even harder... I guess if it would happened to me I would take it real bad...it makes me realise things... that I am not ready to have a baby... that I never had sex... and that I am far from those two...then I feel like I am real too far from my friends...I need to be there for them even though I never was...I guess I need to chance my ways...my best friend is pregnant and she doesn't want it... I should be there... and I am real sorry I am not... got to try to be there for her now.. but how? Hope things going to happen right, so that I can see her in time, to be there for her... she didn't ask it...but she probably would like to happen...WOW... that's something totally unexpected...what's is going to happen next???
Next...no... can't find anything Fate is going to bring me... guess? I get the job at the musée and have the time of my life... (or the summer) don't get my week off in july to go see friends... but get to see my pregger friend and be with her... just be with her, find a good guy at the musée and starts to go out together (and maybe get over the idea that Pat cares for me at all), make a lot of money this summer (cuz of the new job) and pay off my visa.. and Paris here I come!! ... sweet thoughts.... I'll know about its beginning (my wonderful summer) this week (if I got the job or not)
Was it meant to be? What is ? What will happen... maybe I should ask what should, or could happen? but then probabilities, even though they can be quite fun, are not worth anything... what is... is reality, real events, real things, reality.
My friend told me she 'loved' me (friendly-like) for the first time, or at the least that I can remember of... I told her I did too
Is there any hope
yep, always... does it do me good....that we will know much, much later in life... does hope give you anything? a thread to hold on to? Do I believe? Hmm.. questionning my faith now... but then.. did I ever had any? Nope.. heard Lily Allen is in MTL early in April.. think I might go.. if I am there for my pregnant girl... could be fun... maybe even with her... hmmm now I do hope I get that job...I need some time off from Clément... today wasn't bad at all.. didn't get to sale that much...so.. I wish I would get that job at the museum...it would do me good as of a change...
Alright I am off...

this was a though evening

MC