Friday, July 27, 2007

such the rotten potato...it had to come out of me

So...my supervisor is... extremely pissed at me, because I know sometimes I am imcompetent. At least, it is only occassionly. I am too, pissed at myself... I can now add another crying scene at work... always fun, right?!?! I guess time will work this out... hopefully because it does seems like I am deeply touched by it. I hate sucking at my job and you know what?, my boss doesn't see it... actually no one does I think... or at least no one acknowledge it openly to me ( and doing so, would help me right now) ARHHHGGGGG. I used to hate my boss, and now I kinda like her, and with her being so dissapointed (and pissed) it saddens me A LOT. Actually, it was more the piss- thing. I think she handled it very badly (but then it is NOT surprise to anyone, that's what she does, everytime!) Her being just really dissapointed in it, I would have taken it much more... strongly (since, you know I was weak by crying, though I did hold it up quite a while) The way she actually reacted made me feel (and think, and realise) that she has way too much pressure on her with this job and that maybe she needs... someone to help her or some days off. I haven't came across someone who truly let's their worries away (maybe with the exception of my mom) *and I* lol. If I would have people working for me, I wouldn't have let myself react like that... otherwise, it kinda proves: 1st that aint a good job for you, 2nd you are not happy... and so on. Moreover, the girl just aint done to work in public nor does she has a good idea of what her job truly is about (or at least, her own (higher) boss, are just not doing their own job correctly) WILL I ever find THE good job?
With those episods, I feel like I need to get (and search) another job, something more (my) career-oriented...yes... that ought to be better.... but then I am SO not in the right city (and I am not even thinking about London, though it definately would be THE place)

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